So today I had my last final of the semester: Statistics for Behavioral Sciences. It was pretty easy, but that’s not why I’m writing this post. No, it was the journey that made my looming 78.9% grade one to be desired. A B in the class rests on the results of today’s test..
But seriously, I totally slacked in this class (par usual). For some reason I never gave 100% of my attention to the homework. You see, it was all online, due at sunday night, and my procrastinating ass always waited till the very last minute.
For one assignment, I was traveling back from New York in a layover somewhere in the midwest when I remembered I had homework. I proceeded to sneak into the VIP guest lounge where they had free internet, and being aware of the time difference, complete the assignment in under 30 min as to not miss my flight. I seemed to get a B on that one!
Another homework, during the 8 hours before the assignment was due, I had consumed 5 MDMA pills and had taken my first drop of Acid. Let’s just say that chapter was pretty deep..
For a few other of them I completely missed the deadline because I was at a bonfire/out with friends/watching a really good movie.
I think the weirdest part of the class was how my professor communicated with me. He seemed to really respect me as a student and would always ask me questions like he cared. I am honestly not use to such positive feedback from a teacher, and it kinda made me upset that I continued to half ass his assignments. But with that being said, my love for statistics has been restored and I await my pending grade which may determine if I continue on to a four year institution next fall.
rant rant rant
Today my stats professor ended today’s lecture with “and that’s why correlation does not equal causation.” I thought to myself huh, I wonder if any crazy psyudo-hippy genius has ever written a paper on how everything is interconnected and proves through some metaphysics mumbo that everything has causation.
It got me thinking about all the infinite amount of possibilities that could make anything lead to almost anything. Then if that’s the case, what type of statistical significance does anything really have? Sure stats is important for business models and probabilistic possibility, but what kind of real world application applies.
Last night while I was explaining my stats homework to my blossoming relationship potential, he stopped me and said, “well you just proved to me why I think stats is bullshit.” While I don’t really agree with him because I find the subject interesting and mostly applicable, it caught my attention as he proceeded to explain how his chances of existence were low and how he is a statistical anomaly. I wonder what kind of factors lead to his (or any of our) existence/persistence for life..
I think I will somehow incorporate this concept into my life theories I have concocted. Now to figure that out… (I’m sure I will be writing about that soon).
I can’t make up my mind about anything.
I like to think there is a certain kind of beauty in uncertainty. The process of trying to find out which road will be most beneficial, or will have the best outcomes, or will produce positive change can be itself beautiful. Even if you don’t make a decision in the end, at least you know that you explored every option. Came to every conclusion. Tested every variable. Then left it open, without an end. Uncertain. These are life path things that need to be examined from every angle, as it may change the out course of your life.
The more basic choices can prove to be even more beautiful. Not having a distinct opinion can be evolutionarily beneficial on the simpler things. “Salt or Sugar?” “Mettalica or Megadeth?” “Music or Silence?” “Art or Analytics?” While some of these concepts might be pretty deep, choosing one or another, in my opinion, is pretty ridiculous when you look at how different everything can be. If people were all so black and white, society might not be able to get anything done. It’s up to the uncertain grey shades to give some perspective to the one-trackers.
So I’m choosing to take pride in my uncertainty, and embrace the fact that I do not hold a lot of truths. That way I can facilitate to a multitude of atmospheres.
I think I just spoke in circles..
Although I hadn’t seen him in more than ten years, I know I’ll miss him forever. I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?
On May 9th, 2010 singer, actress, and activist Lena Horne passed away at the age of 92. As the first African American female to hold a contract with a major Hollywood studio, she became a powerful visual and cultural icon to the changing American landscape. Famously refusing to be allocated to the role of playing a maid, as so many black actresses had been forced to do, Lena noted in her 1965 autobiography, “they didn’t make me into a maid, but they didn’t make me into anything else either. I became a butterfly, pinned to the column, singing away in movie-land.” As prominent civil-rights activist and communist sympathizer, Lena paid a high commercial price for her willingness to bring truth to power. But, as noted in her obituary in the Los Angelas Times, by the end of her career, Lena Horne was considered to be one of the greatest artistic icons of the 21st century. Lena noted in her autobiography, “My life has been about surviving. Along the way, I also became an artist.”
I’m not alone, I’m free. I no longer have to be a credit, I don’t have to be a symbol to anybody; I don’t have to be a first to anybody.Lena Horne
We are all one species. We are all star stuff harvesting star light.Carl Sagan
This is dubstep. Caspa and Rusko. Can I just say that DUBSTEP IS MY LIFE. Seriously I don’t know where my hyper, crazy, and artistic energy would go if not for the half English, half drum and bass, red haired step-child of electro named dubstep.
Basically my love for the genre began the way any half baked obsession comes into play. Too much free time, and an undesirable urge to party. This left my mind in a constant state of wobble. When I first found dubstep is when I was finally able to open my mind to the world of the raves. I had labeled events like these dirty, drug feened children trancing out before finally seizing out, orgies with no internal value or contribution to society. My perception of these events was obliterated upon arrival to the San Bernadino fairgrounds. It was Audiotistic, and my mind was blown. Not in the literal drug obsessed, twenty something dropout sort of way, but in an overwhelming curiosity of culture kind of way. Who were these people? What is this underground scene that possesses the night and thrives in the bottom of a drug dealers stash? How could I become a part of it?
While this quest has not been accomplished fully, mainly because I have the motivation to not allow my brain to ooze out of my ear, I fell victim to the ideals behind this movement. The overwhelming amounts of love you feel when you become a part of a crowd. Become a fan. Start a movement. This movement is one that I consider bipolar. Half of the time, you get electro inspired love themes discussing wisdom, calmness, beauty, and sexuality. Caressing the mood in reggae themes and melodic drum lines. But the other half, the evil half, is one of hate and desperation. The future of dub, the repeating, harsh, clattering beats that shifts your mind toward death and numbness.
The music. The energy, circulating around, passing from one person to another, possessing every member until you are one mind. Until there are no distinguishable member. Until everyone’s mindset is the same. Once I felt this, there was no turning back. I had become victim to the movement. Another captive to the trance.
Now I urge my fellow ravers, to stand together. And please, save me from the close mindedness that resides in Orange County.
Peace, Love, Unity, Respect
So yes, this is a tumblr, and while i never expected myself getting one, here i am.
but really, isn’t that how great things always start?
i hope to fill these digital pages with loads of artistic stuff, and allow my mind have a venue to fill its crazy ideas with. so be prepared/warned. lovelovelove